Ok, so I stole this meme¹ from peeps from the net. It is really funny. You basically type your name into Google in this format: "(your name) needs." You want the quote marks so that you get matches on exactly what you need. I typed in, "Jacob needs." I picked the first 17 because 17 is my age. My comments are the unboldened text. Here's what the world thinks I need:

1. Jacob Needs a Brother No, Jacob does not need a brother. Thanks though. O_O
2. Jacob Needs to face facts What is my back to them? My bad.
3. Jacob Needs Advice Sure, who doesn't?
4. Jacob Needs to rebuild his outhouse and dig out his pit. I have no response. How did they even know I have an outhouse?
5. Jacob Needs no introduction You got that right. I can make myself known without your help.
6. Jacob Needs a new home Well, a new mansion wouldn't be that bad...
7. Jacob Needs a miracle No, I don't need one. But I think we can all use one, right?
8. Jacob Needs a loving home Yep he does. That's why he's stuck in this one.
9. Jacob Needs a girl Not yet, he don't.
10. Jacob Needs to cut nails Nope. Just cut them.
11. Jacob Needs more prayers Who doesn't?
12. Jacob Needs some rates Yeah, what's the price on that... that... thing over there?
13. Jacob Needs help I sure could use a foot rub. Any volunteers?
14. Jacob Needs You to give me a foot rub. Snap to it.
15. Jacob Needs your help Come on seriously. I can't give myself a foot rub.
16. Jacob Needs help with that tie I sure do. I don't know how to tie a tie yet. Need to learn. On my to-do list.
17. Jacob Needs Bella! Oy. I should've known that there would've been some kind of Twilight reference in this.²

I'm glad that this is over. I won't do another meme for a while.

¹ Wow, you may say. He's done another Internet meme!

² Now that I think about it, I'm kind of surprised (though relieved) that there isn't more Twilight references. Yay!